Tag Archives: NHL playoffs

Quite a Riot

17 Jun

I’ve avoided talking about the riot in general, both on The Puck and at work/home/bars/the street (at least as much as one can avoid talking about these things).  But in the end, like everything else, it turns out I have an opinion on it!!

“Smile, shitheads!” *CLICK*


Those aren’t real Canucks fans!

Yes they are, shut up. Professional rioters don’t buy $200 vintage Trevor Linden jerseys before they turn over a garbage can.  But don’t fret Van-City, it’s ok that they’re Canuck fans, this is not a phenomenon unique to Vancouver.  Get a large enough group of people together and you’re going to have some idiots.  Make that group trend towards young, add in some alcohol, whip them into a frenzy and cram them into a small area and guess what? A few cars are going to get turned over.


I think my biggest problem with the riot is that we may be beginning to set a precedent. Last year in Montreal, this year in Vancouver, I’m worried this may become a thing that we do, like putting maple syrup on sausages.  I sincerely hope that’s not the case because, while the occasional unruly mob doesn’t bother me, the idea that hockey playoffs will become tied with rioting is really terrible.  If for no reason other than I want to be able to stay downtown and drink after a game without being run over by a cop on a horse.

At the end of the day…

It wasn’t that bad.  Vancouver woke up the next morning as if from a horrible one-night stand, shook it’s head, looked around and was thoroughly embarrassed.  Now it’s dealing with the aftermath in a very Canadian way.  Hopefully the city’s memory is long enough that this doesn’t happen next year when Chicago beats them out of the playoffs in the first round.

Also, it’s not like Vancouver has the post-sporting-event-riot market cornered.

Vancouver riot police after Game 7

How do you know you’re at a Canadian riot?  The police wear hockey gloves and carry broom handles for clubs.

A man cheers in front of a burning car at the Vancouver riot

Nothing says “annoying riot dad” like a front-backpack, wrap-around sunglasses and a baldness hiding haircut.

Men standing in front of a burnt car

What’s the best way to look even dumber while having you’re photo taken in the middle of a riot?  Dress like Tank Girl.

Asian kid with a hockey stick at the riots

I have nothing that to say that could be as funny as this picture.

Bravo! Two, Zero.

3 May

I keep moving to write an article about the goaltending situation in Philadelphia but I’m waiting for them to go one full game without pulling their goalie, so in the meantime….

Some quick thoughts on round two so far….

2 – 0 – We’re five days into round two of the Stanley Cup playoffs and we already have three surprise two-nothing leads, San Jose over Detroit, Boston over Philly and Tampa Bay over Washington. I don’t have anything to say, I just had a kick-ass title for this post and needed to use it.

Tampa Bay – I guess it’s easy to lead a series 2-0 when your power play is firing at a higher percent than an honour student’s math test.

Vincent Lecavalier and Martin St. Louis


Boston – Philadelphia gets more shots on net in a period than some teams get in a game (and set a record in the process) and they don’t score a goal. In the meantime, the Flyers have changed goalies in each of the past five games. Pretty easy math. Speaking of…

Boston Goaltending, your dad had another great game.  Hope you don’t have plans this summer, because when Thomas wins the Vezina this year he’s going to ask you to help him build a trophy case in the TV room as a sort of Father-Son project.


Tim Thomas mustache

"You know son, whatever it is that's bothering you, you can talk to me about it. Now what do you say we go get an ice cream?"

JVR – is turning into the Claude Giroux of this year’s playoffs. Unfortunately for him, it may end two rounds earlier than Giroux’s run last year.

JVR at the draft

The next thing in power forwards or the next thing in Degrassi Junior High cast members?

San Jose – This is just a bad match for Detroit. San Jose beat them down last year and look to do the same this year.  San Jose will be tough for anyone but for whatever reason, they’re great against the Wings. Something that not many teams can say. I suppose it may have something to do with the fact that…
Johan Franzen – ….is clearly injured. He sat out a game at the end of the Phoenix series and hasn’t had a sniff since then, registering a paltry 4 shots and 1 hit in 2 games against San Jose.

When Five and a Game is Enough.

27 Apr

Milan Lucic Celebrate no Suspension

Milan Lucic, obviously happy with the league's decision.

As I predicted (though admittedly it wasn’t a very tough call!) Lucic will not be suspended for Game 7 versus the Habs. This is doubly concerning for Montreal because it means Lucic will be the most rested player on the ice tonight, and we’re playing back to back games with travel in between. I, for one, am glad we don’t have to worry about a questionable suspension heading into what should be an amazing hockey game. Also, and this is equally noteworthy, people seem to happy with the league’s decision!

Now Boston has to hope that regular Season Lucic shows up tonight, not playoff Lucic.

Agree, disagree? Have a look.

The Luongo Dilemna

25 Apr

Luongo Beachball
When the decision to play Cory Schneider was announced last night, most people were asking themselves “what happens if Vancouver loses?”, but the I think the far more important/intersting question is “what happens if Vancouver loses and Schneider plays really well?”. It’s Schneider’s solid play (minus a few puck handling gaffes) that has everyone wondering what will happen next. There are a few things that Canucks coach Alain Vigneault needs to consider…

1 – As goes this series, so goes your job….most likely. You lose this series and the public pressure (which is huge this year may just be too much for you to keep your job.
2 – The “Live with your best, die with best” theory. It’s hard to blame a coach for playing a goalie that’s being nominated for the Vezina. It also takes a lot of pressure off the shoulders of the coach, as you don’t have to actually make a choice, you can just spout a cliche….while you’re looking for another job.

3 – How does Luongo feel knowing that you didn’t have enough confidence in him to play him in the last game? How awkward is that team lunch going to be!? Luongo has always struck me as a…. temperamental player, how will he feel about working with Alain Vigneault in the future?
4 – Whatever logic you used to decide to start Schneider in game 6, how could it not apply to game 7? What WERE you thinking? Chicago is in the head of Luongo? The Canuck players have lost confidence in their goalie? You’re getting pressure from management/fans (unlikely)? Whatever it is, it still applies; Luongo isn’t going to suddenly gain his confidence back, nor are his teammates going to start believing he can win against this team.

Of course, none of this matters if Vancouver wins it’s next game (except for NHL’s marketing department of course). Funny that.

A Tale of Two Saves

24 Apr

The Boston v. Montreal double OT game obviously comes packed with highlights but, as you’re walking down the hall towards your local water cooler, there are only two you need to remember.

These are two spectacular save that combine for not only a game/series changer but, if the Bruins end up winning this series, are complete playoff changers. All of a sudden you have a healthy, confident Bruins squad heading into the second round with very little physical damage. They still have one more game to win, but if they manage it, you can bet these saves will each get their own “history moment” commercials.

Michael Ryder saves the lead.

Timmy Thomas saves the game.

“It’s Teeth”

17 Apr

The other day Martin St. Louis of the Tampa Bay Lightning said something that could only have come from a hockey player. When asked about what he thought of having to have a double root canal after having his teeth fractured by a Penguins stick he replied “It’s teeth, it’s not a shoulder, it’s not a knee, it’s teeth”.

So, with that in mind, I bring you 5 great “It’s teeth” moments.

Bobby Baun
Bobby Baun

Everyone knows this story by now…but Bleacher Report sums it up nicely.

In Game 6 of the 1964 Stanley Cup Finals between the Toronto Maple Leafs and Detroit Red Wings, Leaf defenseman Bob Baun fell to the ice in excruciating pain after blocking a slap shot off his ankle late in the third period.

Baun was carried off on a stretcher and was presumed to be out for the remainder of the series. During the intermission, Baun refused to have his ankle X-rayed. Instead, he insisted it be frozen and, miraculously, he skated out for the overtime session.

The Maple Leafs, facing a three games to two deficit at the time, were in need of a hero to keep their Stanley Cup dreams alive. At the 1:42 mark of overtime, Baun drilled a shot from the point that beat Detroit netminder Terry Sawchuk, giving the Leafs a Game 6 victory.

Inspired by his heroics, the Leafs easily won Game 7, 4-0, giving the team a third consecutive Stanley Cup victory. It was not until after the series that it was discovered Bob Baun had scored that overtime winner on a fractured ankle.

Rick Tocchet

On March 15th, 1992, Tocchet suffered a fractured jaw in the first period. Not only did he continue to play that night, but he scored two goals including the game winner. To Tocchet, it is just part of the game. “We were .500 at the time, you want to play and you want to try to win.

Zdeno Chara

This article speaks for itself.

Ian Laperierre
Ian Laperriere Puck face

On November 27, 2009, Laperrière was hit with a slapshot in the mouth while killing a penalty at the end of the first period against the Buffalo Sabres. After missing the second period in order to receive between 50 and 100 stitches (and probably have the shards of his 7 broken teeth removed from his mouth) he returned and played the third period. Enough said.

Oh and it happened again later that year….

Paul Karya (Ballsy, but not recommended.)

During the 2003 Stanley Cup Finals, New Jersey defenseman Scott Stevens delivered one of the most devestating checks of his career on the unsuspecting Kariya who was knocked unconscious. You’ll remember this game as the one where Kariya later returned and scored a goal later in the game to help the Mighty Ducks force a game seven.

Crank’s Corner

16 Apr

Here at Primitive Puck we have a few…..friends, who have some things to get off their chest. The man known only as Crank is one of these friends. At first I thought about asking this guy to start his own blog, but then I remembered I have a pickup game with him next week and I’m running out of my own teeth. So, without further ado, I bring you….Mr. Crank.

The Linesmen.

NHL Linesman


WHO ARE THOSE GUYS??? Can any of you hockey fans out there name your all time favorite linesmen? I didn’t think so. Is that the reason that all of the present day linesmen seem to have a distinct hankering for the spotlight? There was a time when their main job was to call offsides as close as possible, even when no advantage was being gained and a delayed offside was a better option. Well now they have found a way to elongate their moments in the spotlight by refusing to drop the puck until the camera has been on them for a minimum of ten seconds. If things are lined up correctly before they get their face time, they simply kick one center out of the circle. This happens over and over during every game but, oddly enough, only ever happens one time per face off. You see, there is a rule whereby you must assess a penalty if someone from the same team is banned from the circle twice at the same face off. How quickly and obediently todays hockey players learn their lessons!! These same players who scrum after every freezing of the puck and are admonished repeatedly for it, not by a lowly linesman but by a red striper, and are repeatedly sent to the box for all sorts of other infractions apparently fear the dreaded face off penalty more than any other, because they never commit it. How can it be that so many times in every game they dare to line up incorrectly, not place your stick just so, have a skate over the line, or commit one of what must be a huge list of indiscretions ONCE, BUT NEVER TWICE. The only explanation is the linesmen want more recognition and this is their way of getting it. Apparently yelling out non infractions such as NO ICE or OKAY when a play is NOT offside isn’t getting enough people to talk about the job they are doing so poorly.


Teemu Selanne is cooler than you.

13 Apr

This off-season, Teemu Selanne (of 76 goal rookie year/Stanley Cup championship/1300+ points/two-time Olympic scoring leader/7 time Finnish player of the year fame) decided that, at 40 years old, he still had more to give as a hockey player, and he returned to play one more season with the Mighty Ducks.

So why is cooler than you?  Well, for starters, when he's not busy being mistaken for gorgeous movie stars, he passes the time casually breaking NHL records and car racing as his alter-ego Teukka Salama, a.k.a Tommy f*%^*ing Lightning!!

Teemu being Teemu

This guy is someone's dad!


As if all that wasn't enough, on Saturday night, while you were opening your second bag of potato chips, Teemu Selanne, a man who has never once fought in his career, grabbed a 26 year old professional hockey player by the neck and laid a beating on him.  For those of you keeping count, that makes Selanne undefeated in his pro fighting career. 

Starting tonight, Selanne can be seen taking his show on the road as the Anaheim Ducks take on the Nashville Predators in round 1 of the Stanley Cup finals.

Rock on, Teemu.