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We’re back baby!!!!

12 Apr

Logo for the Stanley Cup Playoffs

Diving back into the online world of hockey writing/blogging/tweeting has reminded me of just how angry and negative hockey fans seem to have become.  If you didn’t know any better you’d think the Flyers had been caught slipping a fifty into the refs pocket and Shea Weber had literally murdered Henrik Zetterberg with his bare hands.  Like Marv crushing that guy’s head style murder.  For those of you that haven’t seen the incidents in question, relax.  One, they weren’t that bad and, two, they’re outlined below.

Flyers v. Pens

Briere Celebrates his goal against Pittsburgh

– Two players you barely noticed out there: Malkin and Couturier.  Strange coincidence.

– Just like Gretzky, Lemieux, Jagr, etc….try as you might, there’s no stopping Crosby, he’s simply too good.

– What does a comeback like that mean to Philly and to Ilya Bryzgalov in particular? Imagine being a Philadelphia Flyer and having confidence in your goalie.  That’s some Twilight Zone shit.

– Daniel Briere has 31 playoff goals/30 assists since leaving Sabres in 07. Sabres as an entire team have scored 33 playoff goals.

Shitheads v. Kings

Luongo makes a save versus the Kings.

– It literally took 5 minutes before the diving and faking started for Vancouver.  If this is how they think the playoffs work they’re in for a major surprise.

– People are really overlooking the Mike Richards factor.  This guy is an angry, mean, dirty, physical presence who just happens to be a Memorial Cup Champion, World Junior Champion, Olympic Champion and former NHL captain who’s already been to one Stanley Cup finals in his career.  It’s like he was built in a lab to anger and hurt the Vancouver Canucks.

UPDATE: Mike Richards was named the first star of the game.


Wings v. Predators

– Shea Weber hit according to Nashville Predators fans.

Shea Weber slams Henrik Zetterberg into the glass.

Shea Weber hit according to Twitter and Detroit Red Wings fans.

– The whole Predators gold-rush thing (I don’t know if they call it the gold rush or not, but if they don’t ,they should) is AWESOME.  They just need a bit more coherence.

– Weber will not be suspended.


All that’s old is new again….

11 Apr

Nothing to get the creative juices flowing like the opening of the Stanley Cup playoffs.  In between eating chicken wings and screaming at my TV laptop I found a list of old, unfinished Primitive Puck posts longer than a Leonard Cohen song (not my joke).  I figure this is as good a time as any to start posting some thoughts.  So, while I imagined a lot more fanfare in my return to writing for The Puck, this “article” will have to do.

While you’re reading this, I’ll be working on an algorithm that calculates which team’s fans are the whiniest on twitter.  Hint: It’s Pittsburgh.

Lapierre tries to get Bergeron to bite his finger

Check out this asshole right here.

– Remember how much we all hated those jerks in Vancouver?  Let’s do that again.

– Seriously, if you’re picking an all-time playoff hockey team, how high is Daniel Briere on your list?  He’s second in playoff goal scoring since the lockout.

–  Not unlike the researchers that discovered the new flavour called “Umami”, recently Sidney Crosby discovered a new emotion.  But unlike Umami, this new emotion can only be expressed by contracting all the muscles in your face in order to create a smaller, angrier, sadder face.

– Of all the fun, weird bets you can make on the playoffs, I’ve yet to see anything about when Don Cherry will create his first firestorm of controversy.  I’ve got money on his first segment after Vancouver plays.

– In that same vein, lay off Grapes would ya?  The world doesn’t owe you a commentator you agree with.  Replace Cherry with another Kelly Hrudey, nobody cares and nobody watches.

– I read somewhere that Brooks Orpik is a real son-of-a-bitch.  The more I watch him, the more I can see what they mean. That guy plays to hurt people.

– I have an old article called “Sidney Croncussionsby”.  I can’t wait to finish that up.

more later….