All that’s old is new again….

11 Apr

Nothing to get the creative juices flowing like the opening of the Stanley Cup playoffs.  In between eating chicken wings and screaming at my TV laptop I found a list of old, unfinished Primitive Puck posts longer than a Leonard Cohen song (not my joke).  I figure this is as good a time as any to start posting some thoughts.  So, while I imagined a lot more fanfare in my return to writing for The Puck, this “article” will have to do.

While you’re reading this, I’ll be working on an algorithm that calculates which team’s fans are the whiniest on twitter.  Hint: It’s Pittsburgh.

Lapierre tries to get Bergeron to bite his finger

Check out this asshole right here.

– Remember how much we all hated those jerks in Vancouver?  Let’s do that again.

– Seriously, if you’re picking an all-time playoff hockey team, how high is Daniel Briere on your list?  He’s second in playoff goal scoring since the lockout.

–  Not unlike the researchers that discovered the new flavour called “Umami”, recently Sidney Crosby discovered a new emotion.  But unlike Umami, this new emotion can only be expressed by contracting all the muscles in your face in order to create a smaller, angrier, sadder face.

– Of all the fun, weird bets you can make on the playoffs, I’ve yet to see anything about when Don Cherry will create his first firestorm of controversy.  I’ve got money on his first segment after Vancouver plays.

– In that same vein, lay off Grapes would ya?  The world doesn’t owe you a commentator you agree with.  Replace Cherry with another Kelly Hrudey, nobody cares and nobody watches.

– I read somewhere that Brooks Orpik is a real son-of-a-bitch.  The more I watch him, the more I can see what they mean. That guy plays to hurt people.

– I have an old article called “Sidney Croncussionsby”.  I can’t wait to finish that up.

more later….

 

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